East Village Drunkenness...

London was buzzing! The Royal wedding put everybody in a great mood to celebrate and enjoy the first night of a long bank holiday weekend! Me and my older sister decided to head down to East london, (we're giving the Mayfair scene a little break for the time being) and enjoy a night out around Old Street. I use to work for a charity around this area and took a few pole dancing classes, (as a hobby to keep fit) but was a virgin to the nightlife so was very excited to experience my first time!

EastVillage is a very cool, unpretentious bar with a great atmosphere, people are down to earth (which makes a change from some of the london clubs in central) and the music was spot on! 

Before downing my first ever tequila shot, I was told to "lick, swallow then suck." I followed these instructions and because I did, the tequila wasn't so bad! I'm the biggest light weight and despite thinking I can handle my drink..I really can't, so three large glasses of rose and two tequila shots later, it was evident that the night was about to get a whole lot messier! 

It got to the point where I lost all control and was suddenly puking everywhere! My sister had no choice but to stick me in a cab and gave strict orders to our friend to make sure I got home and into my front door safely! 

So I remember what happened (which is a good thing) but could not keep myself up and was falling all over the place. (Which is awful!) My friend walked me (or practically carried me) to my front door and suddenly the realisation that my mum was going to see me like this forced me to try and sober up! Thank god my brother opened the door (I forgot my house key!) and it was dark so he couldn't see me that clearly. I remember thinking "omg, I have to get up at 8am tomorrow for work, and I need to be sick and really want my bed!" 

I literally just said "thanks" to my friend and closed the door in his face but soon regret not letting him in to help me. I ended up being sick in the loo and then physically couldn't even make it up the stairs. So I decided to rest my head and must have fallen asleep on the stairs before crawling my way to the top floor where my bedroom is. 

I continued to be violently sick in my room (I found an empty plastic bag which happened to be on my bed waiting to be used!) and the next thing I know, it's 8am and I have to get up for work! 

Wearing make-up from the night before with sick in my hair, I made it into work half an hour early only to be sent home at midday as the office was quiet and everybody was also leaving early! 

'Pigging out' at the O2 Centre...

There is nothing I enjoy doing more then spontaneously watching a late night movie on a week night! Not only is it less busier then it would usually be..But you also then get the luxury of actually choosing decent seats as opposed to ending up in the front row where u practically miss the whole film because you’re too busy blinking and squinting ur eyes, due to being way to close to the screen, and trying to re-position your neck every five seconds in order to get comfortable. (And before you wonder why I don’t book tickets in advance…I’m a city girl and that equals last minute so I usually just hope for the best!)

Me and my older sister decided to watch fast and furious 5 at 9pm in the 02 centre. I think a reasonable ‘late night’ movie time as it finishes just in time to catch the last bus home.

station cinema 

As we both coincidentally didn’t eat dinner, it was a good opportunity to quite literally buy all the food available to us. I mean, we ended up with two hotdogs, nachos (with everything) popcorn (mixed of course, every mouthful is a surprise!) and a large coke (what!? We had to drink something to wash it down, and seeing as it was all so bad for us, why not go all the way!?) 

We both agreed that the movie choice was indeed a great one and must say, in my opinion, definitely the best Fast and Furious out of them all! During the film, we were excited and intrigued by what was to come, and by the end of it, we were left thoroughly satisfied by the movie, but utterly bloated and fat by all the pigging out! But, it was worth it! Now it’s time to burn off some calories by missing the bus home and walking instead!

Fast and Furious 5 Trailer! Enjoy! ;)  

Brazilian Pain...

The day marked in my diary has arrived. It’s that time again where I have had to mentally and physically prepare myself for what I was about to put myself through, and actually, I am even more scared this time round as I’m trying out a new place for the first time, as the one I use to go to has been taken over by new managers, and I must admit, after letting them wax an armpit (they were on a trial) no way am I letting them go near my fairy!

Yes, you’ve probably guessed, behold the legendary Brazilian wax that was written in my diary as a reminder. (Although obviously, I do not need reminding on paper as I see it everyday!) I was about to try out Natura, a Salon in Hampstead that was recommended to me by quite a few friends, they also do the best massages so if the standard is high for that, surely, it’s worth a try!?

Natura Day Spa website 

My time slot I had pre-booked along with the word TORTURE was in the diary and I spent all morning mentally preparing for it..Not quite meditating, more, biting my nails and breathing in and out quite heavily as if I was having contractions! (I guess it’s good practice!) The experiences I’ve had before have irrevocably scarred me for life, which has resulted in me behaving this way.

So the beautician begins..before she even pulls the strip of wax away I let out the loudest scream and then blushing with embarrassment I say “I’m sorry, I erm..thought, that erm..Well…erm, never mind..please..continue..just ignore me.”

I was utterly, and completely shocked by how amazing the wax was! I have never seen anything like it before! She put a layer of the wax onto an area, and within a few seconds of it drying up, (it looked a little bit like bubblegum) it turned into a strip, so all she then had to do was pull it off! It was not as painful as I have experienced waxing to be! When I told her about what the other salon use to use and what their method was, she looked at me in horror and said “no wonder you’ve been scarred for life!” I then thought to myself…”What on earth did these people do to me!?”

Admittedly, no matter how comfortable a beautician may make you feel, there is no dignified way of getting a Brazilian wax done! (Like giving birth- I’ve never done it but my mum has seven times!) I mean, they really do see it all and get you to maneuver yourself in different positions, legs over their shoulders, then on your side. It is one of the most bizarre bonding experiences to share with a beautician, so my advice to you would be to try and stick with the same beautician and if she happens to be unavailable, then I guess the only thing to say to that is…Bollocks!

Oxford Street Traffic Jam...

Today was the day that I had to replace two items in my make-up that had run out. It wouldn't be a problem if the items were available to buy in any boots or superdrug store, however, this was not the case! I needed to replace my Lancome mascara which is only available in the big boots stores or retailers such as House of Fraser or Selfridges. And my foundation is from Mac, and the only Mac stores I know are in Oxford Street, Carnaby Street and Westfield! So, I thought the best place to pick up my two items quickly with no fuss was if I went straight to Selfridges! Little did I know that my trip through Oxford Street to get there would turn into a mission!

I normally prepare myself for large crowds and slow moving people (that I always end up getting stuck behind) but my mission was not to hang around, I wanted to get what I came for and leave immediately. I saw a big group of people in the distance but didn't really think anything of it and just thought, seeing as I'm small, I could get away with squeezing past and making it out the other end, only I ended up being stuck in this crowd not able to move for about 20 minutes!! I'm not really sure why we were not moving, but apparently people were not sticking to 'their' side of the pavement which created absolute chaos and a people traffic jam in the middle of the pavement!

Jeez...I only came to oxford street to get a couple of things! Eventually, I managed to make it out alive and was surprisingly not trampled on! I said to myself, as soon as I'm on my way back to the station, I will make sure I cross the road so that I do not have to go through that crowd again!

Selfridges was finally at arms length and I couldn't wait to get in there, get what I needed and leave! One down, one to go! As I walked over to the Mac counter, there was more waiting to do! Why didn't I order online and get home delivery!? I wish I could, but when you live in my house you would be lucky to find a letter in your name! So it's worth the wait!

Having walked all the way there, and turning grey in the process from all the waiting around, the Mac man then returned to tell me that my foundation was out of stock...!!! What...!?? Pardon..!? I said..Ermmm..Are you sure...? He responded "you could try Carnaby Street." "Oh great" I replied, "I'll do just that!" and muttered under my breath "bloody brilliant!"

So it looks like I'm now off to Carnaby Street! I thought if I stuck to my little plan, I would get there a lot quicker, only to my surprise, the exact same thing happened to me on the other side of the road! :/

 

Rush hour drama...

I opened my eyes and saw a hint of sunshine peering into my room, oh what a beautiful day..(So I thought!) Getting dressed for work, I assumed that because of the sunshine, it would be rather mild outside so decided to leave the house without a coat.

Half way down the road, I discovered that I didn't have my oyster card, as I had switched bags this morning so had forgotten it. (Story of my life and oh the joy of too many bags!) So I had to run all the way back to the house, run up two flights of stairs (as my room is on the top floor) back down the stairs and out the door again.

As I was wrong about the weather and it was in fact quite nippy, (no pun intended!) I decided to also grab a long coat however, by this point half way down my road, I then whipped it off as I was quite literally dripping in sweat and felt like I had just done a mini marathon all before 9am! As soon as people in the UK see a bit of sunshine, we all practically walk out half naked...But soon regret it! 

I finally got to the station. As I waited for my train, I couldn't help but over hear a couple of people talking amongst themselves about one of them being delayed yesterday morning on their way to work, because in their words "some selfish twat decided to ruin everybody else's day and jump in front of the train." Wow- that's pretty harsh...If our society is cruel enough to feel no sympathy then it's no wonder the man jumped in front of a train..Like they say, 'kill two birds with one stone.' (I really do hate that expression!) If society had anything to do with his decision to top himself, why not piss them off at the same time!?

As my train approached, as always, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people flooding into the train, pushing and squeezing their way past, I could just smell desperation in the air! it was completely and utterly crowded, man do I hate London transport during rush hour! Luckily, I am quite small..(5'4).....Ok so I lied..5'3, which means I can get under people's armpits and if i'm really desperate and have to get on that train, I just look for a gap in between people's legs and make a run for it! I manage to make it everytime! 

You could be in the happiest mood but as soon as you experience rush hour transport, it actually turns us londoners into the most aggressive people! We suddenly get irritated by the most trivial things and are against everybody! The one that does it for me is when i've been standing on the train for almost an hour squashed up against the door (if i'm lucky) but if i'm not...It would usually be somebody's smelly armpit or boob (man or woman) and then someone new hops onto the train. As soon as you get a little bit of freedom and room to breathe, they decide to suddenly invade my little bit of space! Typical, this is what happened on this very day. 

I became territorial with my space. Stage one is when I begin to tighten the eyebrows and you can then see all my lines on my forehead. 

They then decide to whip out a newspaper and open it up like they have all the space in the world and read it whilst everyone is standing on the train like squashed sardines! Stage two, I severely start huffing and puffing to make them aware that I am not a happy bunny! Then to top it off, I am suddenly being slapped in the face by the newspaper each time they turn the page, one minute it pokes me in the eye, the next it whips my face! That is it! Stage three!!  I finally have to say "do you mind!? your newspaper has just slapped me in the face!" But of course, it comes out all wrong and I end up saying, "sorry, I mean your newspaper is erm..erhh.." Damn it spit it out woman! What I really wanted to do was grab his newspaper and poke him in the eye with it! 

Fifteen minutes late for work and only exiting the station now, I feel like I have already done a full days work feeling every emotion possible in the space of an hour and a half! 

  

Primani...

It's early sunday morning and I have just been paid. Not only is it bright and sunny outside but it's the day that I have set my heart on shopping, only i'm looking for something specific, something particular. A gold dress that I have seen in three different magazines all directing to one place, primark. Aka, primani. Absolute heaven on a budget.

I remember the days when shopping in primark was actually rather embarrassing and anybody that found out or saw you knew that you were broke and could only afford to shop in this one store. (Or pound stretcher!) When the shop assistant would put the items into a primark bag, if it didn't fit into the over-sized (empty) bag I was carrying, I would take out the clothes from the (then) plastic bags and shove it into my own bag so nobody could see! This is why I nicknamed it primani! I never ever thought that primark would blow up the way it has and become one of our favorite high street retailers when shopping on a budget! Benny Dee use to be another budget shop but I think they've closed down now!

Growing up, shopping in Kilburn in general was the place to be if you didn't have much money and it still is!

As I walked into the store, my heart was pounding, I was so excited to finally get my hands on this dress. Suddenly, I saw it in the distance, it seemed there was only one left, my heart was pounding faster and faster as I got closer and closer to it. I looked around discreetly with my eyes hoping that nobody else would get to it. I was breathing heavily, pushing my way through the desperate crowd of aggressive shoppers who were fighting over anything and everything. I was hot and sweaty from racing around to find this one item that I oh so longed for.

Finally, I was at arms length, as I reached over to grab the last dress (this was done in slow motion because I was actually in shock that primark had my size and it was still on the rail! Jeez, it really was my lucky day! Things like this never happen to me!) Out of nowhere, to my horror, a rather tall, hairy woman with great big man hands snatched it from me and shoved me out the way! My heart was pounding even faster, only this time I was full of rage and anger. I rarely go shopping (because it always ends up being a disaster) so my heart really did sink to the floor. I keep replaying what happened in my head wishing that I had done more.

Oh well, it was a loss I had to live with. I wasn't up for tackling this beast of a woman to get an 'ass whipping.' Although in the long run, i'm sure it would have been worth it.

'Cinderella's' Birthday Bash...

Just another typical evening at home. Mum’s shouting from the kitchen for us all to come down for dinner, whilst calling our mobiles at the same time. My brothers are fighting over the X box and shouting “Mum,” and I’m running in between my room and the boys room telling them off whilst trying to do my younger sister’s make-up.

We were getting ready to go to my other sister’s birthday bash. Having finished doing my younger sister’s makeup, I realise that I didn’t leave much time to get ready for myself so I blitz my make-up, decide I haven’t got time to do the hair piece, so spray a large amount of dry shampoo into it before rubbing it in. Dry shampoo is, in my opinion one of the greatest inventions, it saves me every time!  

Finally ready, we were on our way to Westbourne studios which is under the west way. Apparently, it’s quite a trendy club with an art gallery, pool table and home to many musicians. Studio and Offices by day and club by night. I was eager to check this place out! 

 

As I walked in, I thought this venue was pretty cool, and different..And I like different. We had our own seating area in the middle of the club and the drinks started rolling in! At the start, I really wasn’t too keen on the music as it was quite repetitive, but thought as the night progresses, the dj’s would soon change the music…They never did, which made me think the only way I’m going to be able to get through tonight is if I get pissed! I’m the sort of person that doesn’t care where I am, if the music is good and the company is great, you’re always guaranteed to have an amazing night. But I just couldn’t stand the music so gave up trying to dance to something I was really not feeling and instead, decided to linger around like a social butterfly whilst getting pissed. 

I went over to our table and poured myself a drink. Thinking the coke was cranberry juice (It was dark!) I mixed it with orange and vodka. As soon as I tasted it I started to gag, I couldn’t work out why my god damn drink was fizzy!? Until someone said “pass me the coke!” bloody brilliant! Coke mixed with orange juice..!? Yuck!

By the end of the night the birthday girl seemed pretty pissed. And I don’t just mean drunk! When the lights came on and the bouncers were kicking us out she discovered that one of her shoes had gone missing. My sister was shouting “I’ve lost my shoe! Someone has stolen my shoe!” One of the bouncers replied “It must have been the ugly sister!”

We all had a good look around the studio, underneath the sofas, on the floor, by the bar and then teased her and said “Cinderella has lost her shoe, we must find it!” My sister replied “it’s not funny you know, those shoes cost me £85!” And then whispered in my ear “well actually, I bought them from a charity shop for £15 but still! Why would somebody only steal one shoe!?” My oldest sister replied, “well maybe they wanted to keep Cinderella’s missing shoe as a souvenir!” 

The next day, my sister wrote on her facebook status 'where are you shoe? Come back please I miss you' :( sad face! Awwww blesssss!